So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
