Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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