It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize
