i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
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I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
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I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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