plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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