I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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