Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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