I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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