His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
