we have pet lesbian snakes
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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