Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
