We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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