Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
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