Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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