Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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