I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize