I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
