I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
