she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
