and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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