Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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