If i come over, it means nothing
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I think I won the penis lottery.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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