She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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