Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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