One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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