D3 body, D1 cock
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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