Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
it was like eating out sand paper
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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