I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize