Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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