This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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