you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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