I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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