I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
