Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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