I am midnight drunk by noon
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
