I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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