How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
ttyl tear gas
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
