How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
