yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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