How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
You don't make any sense
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