Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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