never play flip cup with pint glasses
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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