Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
