Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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