Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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