My nipple is on Facebook.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
