I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
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How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
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You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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