guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
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