If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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