i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
