A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
