Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
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sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
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The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
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