I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
