Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Blood and glitter go together right?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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