Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
