Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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