In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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